#56: Cinta & Suka

Dear Memory,

Orang kata ada beza antara cinta dan suka.

Orang kata, kalau kita jatuh cinta pada seseorang dan kita mampu menyatakan sebab apa kita jatuh cinta..umpamanya sebab comel, sopan santun atau baik. Itu bukan namanya cinta. Itu hanyalah suka

Tapi bila seseorang tak tahu kenapa dia jatuh cinta atau sayang dengan seseorang itu, itu barulah dinamakan cinta.

Hmm macam mana? betul ke macam tu?  :)

p/s: "I dont have any type for the girl that I like, but if I like you then you are my type" ha yang ni macam mana pulek? Kihkih

#55: The Announcement

Dear Memory,

Finally, the long awaited announcement by Yasir has been made. It is now official that he is getting married to Najwa in about one month time.

Haihh..

Dulu Luqman, now Yasir... satu per satu teman ada di sekeliling ku..satu per satu lah jua yang tinggalkan fasa ini. Sepatutnya rasa happy, and memang happy pun. Tapi at the same time rasa kehilangan.

Kalau nak diceritakan kisah aku dan Yasir ni, dia adalah antara kawan aku yang paling rapat selama hidup ni..Macam macam lah kenangan bersama kalau nak cerita kat sini memang tak habis..

Of course I am happy for you Yasir, Congratulations to both of you :)

Moga segalanya berjalan lancar dan dipermudahkan hendaknya, Ameen. InshaAllah kalau tiada aral akan ke dua-dua majlis resepsi.

p/s: Betullah kata orang, makin ditunggu, makin keseorangan lah kita nanti..sebab masing-masing dah ada family sendiri..Ini pun dah cukup lonely dah rasa. So dah boleh start fikir ke cemane kite ni? (eh, baru nak fikir ke?) hmm........

#54: We are in this together

Allow me to draw your attention to this note written by a daughter of a pilot shared by a friend. I would appreciate if if you could read the whole note and at the end of it I hope we both could make a conclusion out of it. Ok, here it goes:

This note is long overdue and is something that I should have written a long time ago - to let my dad know of how proud I am of him.
I am proud of what he does, in spite of him not being around for almost half of my life.
This is for my dad,
Captain Abd Rahim Harun,
A380 Fleet.
I am so sorry for being ashamed to tell my friends that you are indeed a pilot. A good one at that.
I am so sorry for telling my new friends that you are a driver.
I did not want to come across as a privileged kid.
We are after all, living a normal life.
I am part of the extended Malaysia Airlines family.
I have flown with them ever since I was an infant.
My first trip with my dad, my favorite pilot was Kota Kinabalu.
Apparently, I was told that I was less than pleasant and I was being a difficult (but adorable?) kid.
Nevertheless, I grew up loving airports and flying.
My father, just like the missing Captain, have worked for Malaysia Airlines ever since he left school.
Many times we urged him to work with different airlines but he refused because he wanted to be close to his family and be around us as often as possible.
We could have enjoyed the perks that were offered -  free education at international schools, all living expenses paid, a chauffeur to drive us around if he had accepted job offers from other airlines.
That's how much MAS pilots are sought after.
Being a pilot's daughter, you are bound to have just your mother flying solo, attending your first day at school, your academic prize giving ceremonies, your sports days, your birthdays and even those Raya celebration. The worst incident that occurred while Ayah was not around was when our house was robbed by 3 masked robbers. On top of that, my mother was then 7 months pregnant. My dad was not around and my mother had to handle everything by herself. She refused to call my dad and worry him as he was to fly back to Kuala Lumpur the following day. My mother understood the burden that he carries on his shoulders and the importance of having a full, undivided focus while he is flying as he is responsible for hundreds of lives, and not just his own family back home.
I remember being choked with tears when our English teacher in college asked us one by one,
I stood up, and answered, "I remember that he wasn't around for half of the time".
He is far from a bad father. He is just working hard to support our family.
We have come to accept that, especially when people asked us, "Ayah mana?"
I would answer them "Entah, somewhere around the world. Not sure. Have to check his roster"
All his life, his presence has been determined by a single sheet of paper which he would share with us at the beginning of each month. He would sometimes be annoyed when I ask him about his whereabouts because I should have checked his roster first before asking him that.
Before he leaves for work, each one of us would send him off without fail and watch his airport transfer pick him up and drive off.
Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning, other times in the middle of the night. We would Salam him in advance before we go to bed.
And whenever he returns from work, everyone in the house would come to the front door, and salam him.
And I never realized how significant these rituals are until the MH370 incident occurred.
Each time he leaves for work,
he will be responsible for hundreds of lives
he will be responsible in connecting families together
he will be responsible in helping businessmen seal the deal
he will be responsible in realising wanderlust dreams of travellers
I remember once, a very old passenger in a wheelchair, waited for Ayah to meet him personally after a London-KL flight, he gave Ayah a thumbs up said, "Are you the Captain? Very smooth landing just now. Thank you!"
I beamed with pride inside.
But deep inside, our family knew, everytime he leaves for work, there is always a possibility of getting that fateful phone call, the possibility of him never returning home.
We have accepted that as part of our lives, every single day.
He underwent rigorous training to be where he is right now.
He has annual health checkup to ensure if he is fit to fly.
He has exams, just like students.
His flight manuals are as thick as my medical books.
He is as 'OCD' (meticulous as some would say) as you would want in any pilot flying your flight, ensuring everything is in place.
Even when it comes to punctuality, he isn't a minute late nor a minute early if he says he's reaching a particular time. ... 'I'm reaching there in 7minutes. Standby'.
This, is a snippet of a life of a cabin crew's family.
Cabin crews sacrificed a lot just so they could help the world connect from point A to point B.
Let us give the families affected by flight MH370 our support, prayers and some privacy.
Before you pass judgement, point fingers, or even spread theories and speculations,
remember that you will not only hurt the missing cabin crew's families, but you will hurt our feelings as an extended MAS family.
Wherever you are, MH370, we pray for your return.
Sincerely,
A Captain's Daughter.

Fellow Malaysians, when the recent development on the SAR last Saturday was confirmed that the transponder on the plane was deliberately switched off and turn-back movement was done by someone in the plane, the foreign media was quick to point the fingers to the Malaysian pilots.

It was such a heart-breaking atmosphere for me at that time knowing that the poor sad family of the pilot had to swallow, a hard one at that, the accusation and blame of the foreign media. Look how insensitive they were when it comes to who is the first one to publish a sensational news, as if losing their loved ones is not enough they were ripped apart and punished by rumors which is not even true!

I choose to defend my country. It is our plane, they are our pilots, this is our story and this is my country. I have always and will always stand by my country.

Say whatever you want to say. Your country might be strong, but we are not weak. Our leaders are brilliant and a good leaders at that. Your track records are not that good to begin with. You are the one who dropped the atomic bombs to the innocent, you too, are the one who made up stories to invade and destroy other nations. No I will not let you do the same to mine.

To our leaders, we believe in you and lets keep going and we will make it through. This is our story and this is our country, we are in this together! #prayforMH370


p/s: Never a fan of foreign media.

#53: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..

Hi Memory,

Its been two hectic weeks... Trend entry kat sini pun dah slow down sikit, tak sempat nak jengah pun...

Almaklumlah, annual report nak keluar esok.

Bukan semalam dua stay sampai tengah malam kat ofis, dengan cuti postponed nye, dengan weekend di ofisnya..

Haihhh.. penat betul. Mujur sempat bernafas. Alhamdulillah.

Ini pun kebetulan ada masa terluang sebab outstation di Shah Alam the whole day and tak involve dengan kerja-kerja office.

Anyway, over the last weekend I managed to went balik kampong. Walaupun sampai rumah tengah malam Jumaat and datang semula KL pagi Ahad. It was indeed a great escape :D

I have always attracted to purity and sincerity.

This is merely a finding rather than a preference. And the result has been consistent, I naturally attracted to both. But I have problem in becoming any of them :/  Aiyaa.

I notice that something that I posted up here maybe a little bit too personal, it is meant to be kept between me and Memory anyway... But reader would call it ironic because by putting it here on the web will automatically make it public. You see the paradox there, you wish for something but you do exactly the opposite of it. This is a paradoxical world we live in. heheh.

No what I mean to say here is that I would appreciate it if you, reader, could keep it between us whatever you have read here ok? What happens in Memory stays in Memory, don't spread it outside, deal? :D  Yes, I don't know who you are but I trust you guys ok? ;)


p/s: This is supposed to be published on 18th March 2014. Dan aku dah 'makin sihat' physically. Ommaaa!

#52: Fatamorgana

"Begitu indah dunia siapa pun kan tergoda
Harta, pangkat dan wanita melemahkan jiwa.."

Familiar dengan frasa di atas?

Ya, untuk pengetahuan anda, frasa di atas adalah lirik nasyid yang di popularkan oleh kumpulan Hijjaz. Dah terngiang-ngiang di telinga sejak zaman bangku sekolah rendah lagi. Ayah selalu pasangkan dalam kereta.

And kami adik-beradik, as always, sing aloonggg~~! :D

without knowing the meaning. :/

Dan even sampai ke peringkat universiti pun walaupun aku tahu apa makna setiap perkataan harta , pangkat dan wanita tu, tapi aku tak pernah rasa aku terpengaruh sangat dengan harta dan pangkat.

Masa tu dalam hati cakap, apalah ada pada harta, bukan nak bawa ke mana pun.

Pangkat? Ahh semua itu duniaa! Tak akan aku kejar semua itu...

Okay dah nak masuk part yang rasa nak gelak.

Itu semua aku ungkapkan tika aku masih lagi berada dalam kepompong kenaifan. Saat belum masuk dunia realiti (baca: dunia kerjaya dan pekerjaan)

HA. HA. HA. 

Sekarang semua itu najis lembu! (baca: bull****)

Lepas kenal apa itu harta dan pangkat, jangan tak sangka, benda yang aku pernah cakap itu jugaklah benda yang aku rasa nak kejar sekarang!

KAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Haa kalau korang rasa pelik bayangkan aku punya rasa pelik kat diri sendiri ni tahap mana.

Lebih tinggi dari tahap cipan tapir bertanduk dua.

Bukan exactly mengejar la, tapi nak katanya tarikan benda alah tu dah dapat aku rasa sedikit demi sedikit sekarang ni. I can say this because I slowly feel it.

Bayangkan aku yang setahun jagung bekerja pun dah rasa macam ni kau rasa yang tahap boss boss atas tu macam mana. Tak pelik la kalau fraud fraud ni dibuat bukan oleh orang yang miskin, tapi yang cerdik pandai dan berharta.

Mujur iman juga yang menegur aku agar sentiasa ingat dan usah got carried away.

The point I am saying here is, when we are not in THAT situation, we may not understand the challenges and we can easily say this and that. 

But when its your turn, nahh rasakaannnn!  Right on your facee!

Baru tau langit tu tinggi ke rendah. 


"..Tanpa iman dalam hati kita kan dikuasai
Syaitan nafsu dalam diri musuh yang tersembunyi
Pulanglah kepada Tuhan cahaya kehidupan
Keimanan ketakwaan kepadanya senjata utama.."

Di lagu itu juga terdapat jawapannya. Pulanglah pada Tuhan, Iman jualah penyelamat...



p/s: Termenung mengenangkan MH370. Pagi petang siang malam. #PrayForMH370

#51: Eye candy

Dunia,

Kalau yang kacak, yang tampan, yang cantik, yang lawa, yang berbadan menarik,

Tentu saja menjadi perhatian ramai, tentu diminati, tentu di puja di puji.

Tapi,

Dunia ini diciptakan bukan hanya untuk mereka yang hanya good looking, eye-candy, head-turner.

Bukan semua comel, bukan semua kacak, bukan semua cantik.

Jadi macam mana ya?

Adakah dunia ini bukan untuk kita?

#49:

 So, sekarang ni berapa orang je yang perasan numbering untuk previous post tu tersilap?

Kih kih, takde kerja.

#50: Hailaa

Hi Memory,

Ni che nak habaq mai che emosi jugakla petang semalam and harini.

Nak tau sebab apa?

Sebab sepatutnya che dekat kampong semalam and harini. Tapi la ni  masih kat office jugak

Cerita nya, dari awal lagi dah plan ahead nak celebrate the birthday dengan family kat kampong over the weekend.

So kita pun apply cuti awal awal. Half day petang khamis and full day Jumaat sebab nak kasi panjang sikit weekend kat kampong.

And cuti tu manager dah approved dah pun awal awal lagi.

Tup tup hari Rabu dapat case yang besar lagi complicated dari big boss.

So manager pun suruh postpone cuti until next week T_T

So here I am in the officee,

Haa sekarang bayangkan perasaan dia macam mana.. Sila bayangkan..



So more or less macam tu la perasaan dia semalam and harini..


Hailaa

#48: Sweet Google

Look, google is being sweet today. Awwh!  :-*

#47: Umur

Tik tok tik tok..

bunyi jam di dinding..

Ada beberapa detik lagi menghampiri jam dua belas tengah malam..

Mungkin sewaktu zaman kanak-kanak dulu, pada tarikh yang sama, detik 12 tengah malam itu adalah detik yang aku tunggu-tunggu.. gembira rasa hati bila capai tahap itu..

tapi yang aku perasan 3 4 tahun belakangan ini, detik ini menjadikan aku rasa sedih dan sayu. Tak tau entah kenapa..

Aku ingat lagi tahu pertama di uia pada tarikh yang sama, hampir jam 12 malam..

Aku bangun dan keluar dari bilik, dan baring di kerusi panjang court takraw mahallah Zubair Al-Awwam itu..

Baring sambil muka menghadap ke langit.

Bulan mengambang penuh pada malam itu penuh, sangat indah. Angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa. Sunyi sepi.

Aku ingat lagi sebab pemandangan langit pada malam itu sangat indah.

Tapi pemandangan tu lansung tak sama dengan apa yang aku rasa dalam hati waktu itu.

Aku ingat betapa syahdu dan sayunya perasaan pada waktu itu mengenangkan ke mana hilangnya umur. 
Dan ke mana ia akan pergi selepas itu.

Lama juga aku termenung malam itu.

Malam ini perasaan yang lebih kurang sama datang lagi.

Dari dulu lagi aku tak pernah menyambutnya. Tak rasa ada keperluan pun. Even untuk ucapkan pun aku tak rasa perlu. Tapi bila orang menyebut atau menyambutnya aku hanya meraikan saja. Bersyukur.

Aku lebih ingat kepada ibu bapa aku sendiri.

Sebab tepat jam 11 pagi esok, pada some 20 years ago, emak lah orang yang bersusah payah melahirkan manusia ini.

Dan emak ayah juga membesarkan manusia ini, pengorbanannya bukan sedikit. Sampai mati pun aku tak dapat balas.

Aku doakan kita semua diberi pengakhiran yang baik. 

"Ya Tuhanku, kasihanilah kedua orang tuaku sebagaimana mereka mengasihaniku sewaktu kecil"

#46: Jerebu

Jika hati yang sudah kotor dan gelap itu umpama jerebu siang tadi,  maka tentulah aku jerebu yang tahap budak sekolah tak boleh nak datang sekolah sebab sekolah pun kena tutup serta merta.

Dan jikalau hujan yang lebat tadi umpama keampunan Tuhan, tentulah aku orang pertama yang terjun ke tengah laman dulu, bermandikan hujan..

Biarlah lenjun.. 

Biarlah kebasahan..

Biarlah kesejukan..

Yang aku mahu hanya jerebu itu agar terus hilang.

#45: Of kids

Ada satu benda dalam dunia ni, aku notice aku tak pernah rasa bosan or jemu, sentiasa bawa rasa bahagia je bila tengok..

Budak kecik.

Contohnya cuba tengok video bawah ni, kalau tak senyum sendiri memang tipu laa.

Post by Triple M Sydney.

Sorang ketawa, semua ketawa .. hihiks >_<

#44: Sang Nakhoda

Setelah sekian lama disibukkan dengan urusan duniawi, helaian kitab itu kuselak awal subuh ini,

Ayat pertama yang kubaca (berdasarkan penanda bacaan yang lepas) adalah yang ini;

Bermaksud : Jika demikian, adakah orang yang telah dilapangkan Allah dadanya untuk menerima Islam, lalu ia tetap berada dalam cahaya (hidayah petunjuk) dari Tuhannya, (sama seperti orang yang tertutup mata hatinya dengan selaput kederhakaan)? Maka kecelakaan besarlah bagi orang-orang yang keras membatu hatinya daripada menerima peringatan yang diberi oleh Allah. Mereka yang demikian keadaannya, adalah dalam kesesatan yang nyata. (Az Zumar: 22)


Sentap kejap jantung.

Lama juga aku dah hanyut terkapai-kapai macam ni.

Tapi yang paling aku takut adalah hanyut yang tak jumpa jalan kembali.

Jadi di hening subuh ini,  kupanjatkan doa dan ku kuatkan azam agar biarlah  sekuat mana pun ombak yang datang menghanyutkan, tapi aku adalah nakhoda yang mampu mengemudi semula bahtera ke pulau kebenaran. 

Datanglah ombak samudera yang ber macam- macam hingga hanyut lemas jasad ini, namun jikalau hanyut dan lemas sekalipun jasad ini, biarlah jiwa dan hatinya terdampar di pantai ketaqwaan dan keikhlasan.