#87: Chasing shadow

I love the way you interact with people around you

I love the way you are very kind to others, very polite and witty all at the same time

I love the way you carefully choose your words

So that everything that comes from you is the words of kindness, the words of heaven and the words of inspirations.

None of which would hurt anyone, making you the more lovable and more adorable

Maybe it just comes naturally from you without you choosing

What a true reflection of a pure and sincere heart of yours.

A heart that filled with generosity, humility, love, kind and compassion.

Making you the more loved and respected by people around you.

Making you a true inspiration and one of a kind, .

I am so certain that those of you have never changed and never will, ever.

If they have, I am so sure that they are for the better.

And today, I couldn't have been more right.


"عندما يكون الحب في الله، لا يموت"
"When love is for the sake of Allah, it does not die"


You are counting hours to come home, are you?

It has been a while.

#86: Mutiara berharga

Sewaktu aku di Kisas dulu, seorang alumni/senior pernah berpesan:

"kutiplah mutiara-mutiara yang berharga yang ada di sekolah ini, sebab bila anda mula menjejaki dunia luar..cabaran hidup di luar sana akan menguji prinsip prinsip hidup yang kita pegang selama ini , ia datang dari pelbagai penjuru dan sudut dalam bentuk yang kita tak sangka...."

"..dah keluar nanti baru anda tahu betapa dahsyat nya cabaran cabaran tersebut...kalian akan rindukan tarbiah yang kalian dapat di sini.. Justeru kutiplah sebanyak mana tarbiah yang ada di sini untuk menjadi bekal untuk hidup di luar sana.. " sambungnya lagi.

Pesan itu beliau sampaikan di Musolla Saidina Ali sebaik sahaja kami selesai menunaikan solat Asar secara berjemaah. Dalam sesi tazkirah selepas Asar.

Beliau adalah senior atas setahun dariku dan sedang menyambung pelajaran di peringkat persediaan sebelum ke Overseas. Kedatangan beliau ke kisas hari itu ternyata untuk mengutip kembali mutiara yang hilang atau tertinggal di sekolah itu. Rindu katanya. Aku juga rindu akan bumi waqafan itu sebenarnya, belum pernah menjejak kaki semenjak hari aku ambil result SPM pada 2007.

Dalam kesunyian subuh pada pagi Sabtu ini, aku dibangunkan dengan ingatan kepada pesanan senior tersebut.

Mutiara berharga yang disebutkan itu adalah tarbiyah Islamiyyah yang kami terima semasa di sekolah itu.

Aku masih ingat  pesanan itu sampai hari ini sebab ketika itu aku berasa  begitu teruja  untuk mengetahui apakah yang dimaksudkan dengan "cabaran hidup di luar sana". Aku belum dapat memahami konteks ayat tersebut pada ketika itu. curious.

Apa yang hebat sangat cabaran kat luar tu sampai prinsip prinsip hidup pun akan teruji?
Betul ke apa yang dia cakap tu?
Macam mana rasanya?
Mungkin bagi aku tak teruji sangat kot?

Macam macam persoalan yang bermain di kepala ketika itu.

*********************

Hari ini aku menelan segala apa yang beliau cakap kan.

Hari ini aku mengiyakan setiap butir yang beliau pesan tempoh hari.

Hari ini jika aku hadir melawat sekolah itu, tentu pesanan yang sama juga akan aku sampaikan kepada adik-adik.

Tidak sedikit prinsip prinsip hidup ini seakan terhakis apabila sudah merasai "hidup di luar sana" itu. Hidup yang sungguh 'bebas'

Sampai kadang kala jadi rindu pada Tarbiyah Islamiyyah yang pernah kita dapat dulu.

Rindu pada suasananya. Rindu pada bi'ah solehah nya.

Hati kecil meronta untuk kembali ke zaman itu. 

Hati kecil meronta mencari suasana seperti itu dalam kehidupan hari ini.

Semoga diri aku sendiri boleh hidupkan mutiara berharga itu dalam diri ini.

#85: Changes

Its funny how people can change in a matter of few years, including  myself.

Look at you in the mirror now, and look at you in the past.

One year back, 3 years back, 5 years back, or even 10 years back.

Look at you now..

How much have you changed.. and are those for the better or the opposite?

And are you proud of yourself now..

or are you more proud of who you were in the past..

Its in you..and you yourselves knew it all along and you cant deny them..

Of course you said that changes are all because of the environment, people around you..

But lets not forget..it is also your own choice..

You chose... And you chose wrong..or maybe right... who knows.



But,

Above all, it is also interesting that there is one thing that has never changed ever since...

This heart.

Because today this heart proves it all over again..

That it has never changed.

Since 2008.

#84: Aidiladha

Dear Memory,

I was in my room back at my hometown when I wrote this entry..while everyone has started working on Tuesday after the Raya Aidiladha, here I am, still guling-guling happily..

This year's Raya Haji means a lot to me because I got to experience menyembelih one of the 5 cows myself!

It started last year when the qariah surau agreed to let the young adult to slaughter the lembu under the supervision of Tok Imam. The idea is to expose these young adults with the technical skills as well as the knowledge with regards to the korban.

At first I was thrilled with the idea though. However, I could not convince myself enough to volunteer when asked by the Imam last year. So last year I blew the chance and others got to do it. There were five cows, the Imam did the first one and the youngsters did the rest. (To be honest, I was a lil bit frustrated last year sebab terlepas peluang tu) 

Last year, there were comments by Imam bcoz most of them did not do it neatly and cleanly the first time. Pak Imam has to check a few times to find out whether urat halqum (saluran udara) and urat marih (saluran darah) ware perfectly cut. Some were even struggling to slaughter the lembu and could not find the two urats masa tengah menyembelih.

Pak Imam cakap, parang/pisau sembelih hendaklah diletak/bermula dari bawah dan ditarik ke atas melingkari tengkuk lembu tersebut. By right, sekali tarik keatas sahaja (dengan pisau yang tajam itu) kedua dua urat tersebut sepatutnya putus dengan sekali jalan sahaja.

Tolakan kedua (setelah pisau itu ditarik ke atas, tolak semula ke tempat asal di bawah tanpa angkat pisau) di buat sepatutnya hanya untuk mengemaskan/pastikan sembelihan tu sahaja. So sembelihan yang kemas tak akan lebih dari satu tarikan dari bawah ke atas (untuk memotong urat2 tersebut) dan satu tolakan dari atas kebawah (untuk mengemaskan sembelihan) tanpa mengangkat pisau sembelih.


So this year, I was so determined to do it. without hesitation I just volunteered. yeay.
And I did quite well Alhamdulillah.! 

I did just exactly like Pak Imam told us. Clean. Cuma ada terlebih satu tarikan sebab tak sure sangat. Tapi all in all, Pak Imam diam je the whole proses, takde komen. Yes, I did it!

I guess it helps when you have the experience pernah sembelih ayam sebelum ni.

I think my first experience sembelih ayam was in secondary school. It was all the same concept mcm sembelih ayam kot except that lembu is bigger and the vein is bigger and the diameter of the neck also bigger. Other than that its all the same I guess.

And wow. Darah mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum habaq hang and suprisingly I was okay with that. Lol. (There is something ironic here about this fact. Its something that Im gonna tell you in the continuation of my 20 facts about me. Hmm bila nak tulis tu jangan tanya, I dont have any idea..kemalasan melanda.. kahkah)



So, here is the samurai..!

p/s: ada orang cakap, muka tu kalau buat bengis sikit dah jadi mcm serial killer dah..hahaha